Monday, April 23, 2007

Jose Mourinho's 11 commandments

Jose Mourinho's XI Commandments
The New Rules Of Football.

1. You must ignore facts that do not support your view.
For Eg. Manutd have conceded 3 penalties at Old Trafford,Chelsea have conceded 0 at S.B

2. If a Referee gives a decision you do not like,you allege either
a) you saw the opposing Manager enter the Referee's Dressing Room
OR
b) you allege that the referee told your players that they needed to be sorted out.

3) Death threats are allowed against any referee who gives a decision against Chelsea. This action will be called Frisking.

4) Death threats are allowed against any opponent who injures a Chelsea player while going for the ball. This action will be called Hunting.

5)Each player shall have a cousin on TV to bring attention to the fact that his cousin is a world class player. This action will be called Franking.

6) The Captain of your team is allowed make racist comments to opponents when he is also the Captain of England.

7) The Captain of your team is allowed pull, push, and have opponents block tackled American Football style, however any contact with your Captain should result in a Penalty for Chelsea.

8) Every team should have one Gay Footballer,but no girls allowed.

9) All blatant dives by Chelsea players should result in a booking for the nearest opponent.

10) There should be no Drug Testing of any player who's club is owned by a Russian billionaire.

11) Chelsea are allowed to choose one player from their next opponents who will be the subject of transfer speculation linking that player with Chelsea in the days leading up to the game. In the case of an FA Cup semi final that rule extends to Managers.

Courtesy:Rohit Saha...Fellow Manc

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