Sunday, May 17, 2009

Joke .. Sabh aa ..

The Great Indian Laughter Challenge, I thought was restricted to Star TV. But I was mistaken. This is the first time I'm following the Indian Elections seriously, and what a laughter riot I witnessed ! Promises galore. Accusations aplenty. And what not !

People were lamenting about the lack of Bollywood movies in the theatres due to the Multiplex saga and not any worthwhile Kollywood movies releasing due to the elections. But what else do you need when you have a masala movie of the best quality in your hands, right in your homes, replete with punch dialogues and what-not !

'Leaders' get ready with excuses even before the elections are done, lamenting the use of Money, not that money wasn't used, money flowed like water throughout the elections. The Black Money in the Indian market could be seen in full flow. Rs.56000 crore was spent totally for the elections according to few websites ! Woah ! Ask the parties to spend for the development programs, no one does. They come from door to door asking for votes with pages and pamphlets. But once the elections are over, the settle into their cosy air-conditioned homes while the people sweat it out in the sun, without any proper facilities.

The people taking money and voting for parties should think for a moment or two if they are doing the right thing. The 2k or 3k they get would do for a month or at the maximum, two months. But after that ? They'll have to suffer under the 'leader' they voted to the Joke Sabha ! He'll promise to be easily accessible but would become as accessible as the surface of the moon is to a common man or even worser.

Cant the election process be refined? So many of the recently elected MPs have criminal records. We have people who should be in jail, 'debating' the policies of our country. Ages back, people who've been to jail were allowed to contest an election because most of our freedom fighters had been jailed sometime in the course of the freedom struggle. But these corrupt oppurtunists of today aint freedom fighters, are they ? Why do we need such leaders ?

Most of the promises come with a * on the top, just like the ads in newspapers and TV. Rich become richer, poor become poorer is the norm of the country. The politicians with their ever bulging pockets, jump from one alliance to another without any bit of scruples. Last election, they'd have spoken against the same party. This time, they'll praise them to cloud nine and badmouth their previous ally ! Some parties exist just for the sake of power. Like the PMK, till now. They keep jumping to the side which seems like winning and exist in politics with the money bags that are passed beneath the table.

Every promise from one side is bettered by the opposite leader. TVs says one, Laptops says the other. Rice at Rs.2 says one, Rice at Rs. 1 says the other. All this at the cost of the common tax-payer who gets no benefit what-so-ever from this ! And even with all this, the ration shop guy sells half the stock to private shops at a price of his choice and makes some money for his own pockets as well. Half the time, the ration shop says there are no stocks. What happens to all the stock he's supposed to receive according to the need, only he knows.

Power holiday takes an off for the time being. Tamil Nadu suddenly is able to get it's requisite power. How ? Only one person can answer that question, but the whole state knows, he'll just skirt over it. Bus fares are reduced. And the government insists they've not reduced it, only brought it back to the same situation as it was in the ADMK government. I mean, WTF ! Atleast half the populace is educated and can see through this. EC is a blind ally to all this and just asks the government to call back the changes.

I know of people in Velachery who contacted Naresh Gupta and complained that money is being distributed. Apparently he is reported to have said "I cannot do anything" in Tamilnadu. Says Chinmayi in her blog. Woah. So much for ECI being a separate body, away from any political party and stuff. :-(. Sad scenario.

Voting, was a big fracas. The mock poll which is supposed to be conducted before 7 am, was conducted at 7-30 am in the booth where I voted, with a huge queue of people waiting to vote. Suddenly one of the machines in the booth stops working and there is huge chaos. One guy says 49-0 sir. The polling officer asks, What do you mean sir. Nothing like that is there in the voting machine. Instead of all this confusion, why cant they make things easier for them by having a 'None of the above' option in the EVM itself. It's not going to make things too diificult for them, is it? When they can have 43 options like it happened in South Chennai, one more option isn't going to cost them much ! The guy who is supposed to mark with the indelible ink himself doesn't know which finger he is supposed to mark it on. So much for all those photos staring out right in front of him, showing the finger on which it is supposed to be done. And beyond all this, the biggest comedy is that the polling officer is too lazy to search the name in the electoral rolls and wants the 'slip' given by the political parties with the name of the voter and address and stuff for easy reference. Cant they make the rolls a bit more search friendly, listing it address wise or something ? The biggest joke was when the polling officer said he was waiting for the agents of all the 43 candidates to turn up before polling started ! They have a joke of a room with 5 people related with the election process sitting on the tables. In the remaining small part of the room, the polling officer wants to accomodate 43 guys !

But then voting was a unique feeling, where you can determine your so called leader. Well, guess I was with the majority. First time lucky, the guy I voted for won. :-).

Evening of May 13th made it look like the TV channels were so desperate for publishing their Exit Poll results. So much that most of them started dot at the time when the ban was lifted by the EC. And the so called experts started spouting their wisdom all over the place. But in the end, hardly any one got it right. Why waste money on such stupid things when you'd know the actual results in a day or two at the max !

Counting day was as usual, fun, especially in TN. With each party having it's own TV channel, the people were left with a wide variety of election results to follow. With each channel insisting it's party was the one in the lead, the people dint know what to believe. The national channels were no better. NDTV and CNN-IBN's website showed different tallies. Even different leaders at times. It was laughable really. NDTV's website showed, at a point of time that Vijaykant's DMDK had won two seats (Tiruvallur and Salem) when it had won nothing ! And it showed the SP leading in Thiruvannamalai when it has no sort of presence even, in TN ! ADMK was said to have won Kanchipuram when the reverse happened.

Chidambaram was another issue totally. NDTV even showed on it's homepage that he'd lost and stuff. And suddenly there's a recount and the guy's 3000+ vote deficit becomes a 3000+ lead for him ! Wow ! I wonder what went on behind the scenes there. Some evening papers had even published that he'd been defeated and then this ! One first-time candidate gives an interview before the polls saying he'll win by such a margin. He finally managed a win by around half the margin. Probably, half his 'now-rich' supporters ditched him in the end.

Democracy went dead almost everywhere. Money was rampant, and in the end, money and muscle power prevailed, at least here in TN.

I hate the Local alliance of the Congress but prefer it at the centre than LKA and NM with their extremist policies. Who can imagine how the country would be with their Hindutva policies ! Somehow, Manmohan Singh, P.Chidambaram, Montek Singh Ahluwalia seem a much better proposition to me than NDA. Waiting for the day, Rahul Gandhi jumps into Prime-Minister candidate fray.

Till then, all I can do is to watch Laloo crack his one liner jokes while presenting the budget, boasting about having made Railways 'profitable', wholesale corruption and Tatkal coaches etc etc etc.

PS: As with the title, it was just a take on Lok Sabha. Joke Sabh aa .. Meaning Joke, everyone come. (For those who cant understand Hindi). Lok Sabha is more of a joke with highly intellectual discussions involving the policies of the country by people, some of whom haven't even completed schooling. Cant they have some sort of discipline code so that they can prevent chair lifting and hitting each other and stuff ! They are supposed to be our 'leaders' for heaven's sake.

And cant there be some 75% attendance compulsary or such stuff in the parliament too ? :-P. Was just reading an article about dismal attendance and participation rates of MPs.


Charles Xavier said...

True..In India the law states that your are innocent until proven guilty,so these guys have criminal charges against them but are not proved guilty yet so they are thats how criminals contest elections.

And so much for the youth..the youngest member in the cabinet is Mamta Bannerjee is 54 years and the oldest one is SM really is a

Anand Arasu said...

The biggest joke for me was when rajdeep sardesai on cnn-ibn said in a discussion about vijaykanth's party that vijaykanth had actually acted in a film as "captain prabhakaran" of LTTE fame .... LOLZ ROTFL.... I think rajdeep might want to consider checkin his facts first before confusing the famous/infamous movie "captain Prabhakaran" with the now departed Vellupillai Prabhakaran