Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The nervousness and the elation - April 18th 2011

This is kind of a diary entry for the day. My feelings through out the day. April 17th was the Civil Branch farewell in the college. It was quite memorable for many reasons. The last time all of us, friends of 4 years would be together. It left me wondering if I should have probably spoken a lot earlier to many people, and made more friends. But let bygones be bygones. We were all presented with mementos from the junior batch and I got mine from the Director of the college, which was special. More special was the background music running, "Appidi Podu" - a Vijay song (My favourite actor, if you are new to this place). And the introduction they had written for me went like this.
Civil Department में चलता है इनके नाम का Publication...
चेहरे पे रहता है एक ही expression .. चाहे हो कोई भी situation.

And things went so bad that the director, asked me on stage .. "Even now the same expression !!! " .. Embarrassment! Big times. 

The farewell had some dancing, some eating and then started the hot seats. I stayed on for a few hot seats, and after that my nervousness gave way. I simply wasn't able to sit there any longer, with the prospect of the Ahmedabad results having been released. I came back to hostel and sat in front of my Laptop, endlessly refreshing the IIM-A Website. It was no avail, as the results didn't seem like coming at all. After a point of time, my sleep and tiredness got the better of me and I slept off leaving the laptop on. I got up in the morning at about 7 AM and went online and then started the process of the endless refreshes again. Pagalguy was providing no answers either as no one really knew when it would be out.

Once again the frustration got the better of me, and I took bath and left to the temple for some mental peace, and last minute prayers. On the way, I also met one of my best ever friends, Krithika akka, for her blessings and best wishes. By the time, I finished my prayers, my stomach had started groaning for some attention and I had a Vada Sambhar, which easily proved to be the worst decision I could have ever taken. I seriously didn't feel like going back and sitting all alone in my room (Kumar, my other best friend, had some important work, and wasn't there). So I decided to roam around for a bit and then had this idea of calling up Vaishali (my best friend ever) to be with me, as I simply wasn't able to manage driving the vehicle any more, with my shaking arms and groaning stomach. 

I went to the college building with her, and it was there that I met Smriti Gupta (BLACKISRRT and add whatever other MBA colleges, worth their salt, after this) who told me that the results had been declared! I just couldn't bring myself to go and check the results any where in the college and was so damn nervous by then that I started cursing myself for having taken up this idea of coming to the college for some relief !

I went to the library and by the time I was walking back out, I could no longer contain my curiosity and I decided to take a look at the results in college, in the TPO office. 

I dont know whether to curse the TPO office keyboard which has a bad '.' key or be happy that it brought down my expectations and gave me more joy. I typed my details and when I clicked go, I was brought to tears to see : 

But then something made me go back, and see what I had entered; and I realised the dots in my mail ID were missing, thanks to the keyboard over there. I was literally shaking and wasn't able to type out anything properly and two attempts later, I finally managed to type it out right, and that was probably THE most happy moment in my life till then. 

It was a dream come true, and the celebrations started then and the congratulations started pouring in. I have been promised an External Hard Drive from Dad (Suggestions welcome for that). 

And with a disclaimer that I'm not showing off, I seriously am yet to realise it. It is yet to sink in completely and feels pretty numb. Though, I am able to replay and replay the moments continuously. 

I just wasn't able to express my happiness in anyway at all; though many people were asking me to try and do it. 

Some of the best things that happened yesterday would be:
# My phone calls with mom and dad informing them about my success and hearing their reactions. Though dad's was pretty muted (now I guess people can understand my reactions - genetic problems), I could see that finally I had given them something to be proud of after my AIEEE and IIT debacles. 
# My conversation with my sister that went like this: 
Sis: What, got into IIM-A eh? Congrats !
Me: Yeah !! Thanks. 
(Her friends scream congrats from behind)
Sis: Finally, dad and mom will stop torturing me by reminding us about your IIT flop show. But then, this is worse. They'll trouble me also, asking me to achieve something of the same magnitude. But this should be better. Much better. 
# The congo message from my cousin and the phone call with my aunt.
# The tears of joy from Vaishali. 
# My phone call with Krithika akka, and the joy and disbelief in her voice as she spoke to me.
# The hug from Kumar and his true happiness at the moment. (Dai, if you are reading this. If only Tata Motors hadn't come, we'd have shared the moment together da. Thanks for all the support).
# The bear hug from a guy whom I had not been on talking terms with for nearly two years, Naveen Kumar.
# The urging from Geetanjali asking me to show out my happiness and my 'exceptional' reaction to that. 
# Those wonderful reactions and messages from each and every friend who congratulated me, over SMS/Phone/Facebook and directly. Thanks a lot people. It meant a lot to me. 

As I was on the way to Career Launcher, all alone, I was finally able to show out my emotions and cried on the way. And those were tears of joy. Redemption for the tears of sadness from about 4 years ago.

PS: More posts coming soon ;-)


G said...

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :): ): ): :) :) :): ):
never been happier !!

Vikalp said...

Cudn't have gone any better. And those tears on your way to CL pretty much show it all. :) Really really happy for you! KEEP IT UP. :) :)

N Vaishali said...

one of the happiest moments of my life, Thank you for that. :) :) :)

Anand Arasu said...

machi, u thoroughly deserved it da...( and this is not the 5 star speaking :P )... a lot more awaits you definitely... btw my advice for the hard disk is : prefer SeaGate over WD (experience la pesren)

Anand Arasu said...

also , I also wanted to hug you when I first saw you after the results were announced, but i just couldn't figure out how to get my arms all the way around :)

PRABHU said...

Congrats-Stirring stuff...Like Aras, I wanted to hug u too but dint get any train tickets at short notice :P Big tr8 due!! Enjoy the moments!

John said...


dont worry too much about iit / iim and what not... dont depend on an institute to enhance your brand value.. if you are good and hardworking, you'll do well regardless of whether you are from iit or iim ..

IIMA PGP Alumnus

myviews said...

The best part of the story the non functioning '.' key on the keyboard and the IIT EEE wala flopshow
Kudos to u :)

Preethe said...

Really very happy for you.

Anonymous said...

I found this while googling for inspiration and motivation for CAT.. You rock man! You battled against all odds and rose like the phoenix..! All the very best man! Make it BIG!!

Shrinivas said...

Aditya, thanks mate :)