Thursday, November 3, 2011

An open letter to my (ex) sweetheart

To my (ex) sweet heart

I still remember that day, when I was sitting in the canteen, talking to Kumar, and having a plate of Puri-Subji, after I had got the few IIM Calls that I had. It was then that it stuck me that I actually liked you and wanted you to be a part of my life. Rather, I wanted you to be my life. I just couldn't think of any one else who could take that spot in my life. Even in my dreams. It had always been you, just you. I was pretty much shocked that I had not realized the fact by then, and that I had to be reminded by someone else about it. 

The more I thought about it, the better it seemed. Though initially it took me some time to profess my love, I did. Though I never received a concrete reply from you, I even managed to convince everyone about my love for you and most of them believed me about it. Fate decided my next move would be to IIM-A. I was skeptical about how our love would carry on from over there, for obvious reasons. But IIM-A made me realise it all the more. Talking to various people about their experiences with love, I discovered how awesome you were. You just offered everything I could dream of in life. 



I have to admit, initially, it had been your glamour that attracted you to me. But later on I found out you offered a lot more than just numbers (statistics I mean). I had started to believe ours could be a relationship for life despite many warning me that life with you could be quite risky. They warned me that one fine day in the morning, I could wake up to see that you had ditched me. It was accentuated by the stories I read in the papers about such a relationship even leading to death at times. 

I had made up my mind, and I kept telling myself "Oru vaati mudivu panniten na yen pecha naane kekamaaten"  (Dubbing for those who need it: "Jab main ek bar commitment de deta hum to uske bad khud ki bhi nahi sunta" ). I had made up my mind to like you, and I would do it despite anything it takes. I found you ultra cool, sexy and what not. 

But like they all say, all good things have to come to an end. The deterioration started slowly and steadily I should say, when I discovered how demanding you were. The more I found out, the scarier it got for me. Guys with previous experience in love had told me that love is pretty demanding. But this much, I'd never imagined. To be frank, that one experience made me forget half my dreams with you. The candle of love, though, kept burning despite the storm around. I had thought you were irreplaceable, till I discovered an equally glamorous alternative to you over here. Then came along a less glamorous and simpler alternative to you. I started falling in love with her too which complicated things. She offered as much to me, as you. With an added incentive of variety as well. Perfect I thought. She was fun loving and wanted to traverse the world with me. It was all falling in place once again.

But first love, they say, stays with you forever. And it did. Till one fine day, you decided to screw me over for my infidelity. It was a blow I just couldn't take. Unfair, I thought, and gave up on you. Or I should say, almost gave up on you. I started seeing one more alternative to you, as I was getting tired of your shenanigans. It was tough, but the guy who introduced me to my most recent love, was a wizard. The way he described you, simply swept me off my feet. Never in my life had I even given her a glance, but all of a sudden, I could sense her beauty. True love? I still don't know. 



Then started all the confusion. I wanted to give up on my first love. But my heart still had a few pangs for her. My second one ditched me on her own. Guess she didn't find me good enough for her. I simply loved spending time with my third one, and every second, was bliss. People said you wouldn't be able to satisfy me and weren't glamorous enough and simply said, lacked the vital statistics. But I was no longer bothered.

I was finally and truly done with you, and had moved on in life. But why? Why? You gave me that fleeting look. One of those looks that had swept me off my feet in the first place, and I started falling for you once again. Not as madly as ever. But enough to give me second thoughts. I should have realized then, that you were just having your revenge at me. But the old romantic in me, thought otherwise. I dreamed of the luxury we could live in, and started to go gaga. 

All this, before you delivered your final blow. And this time it was CRUSHING. It took me a while to realize it, and now it pains. It will take me quite some time to recover from this. But I know now, that you just weren't meant for me. You were just one of those show-offs who floored me with skin show. I had never been in love with you, I guess. I had just been infatuated by you. Now I realize glamour isn't everything in life. And I'm not writing this in jealousy. I have found my true love at last and I just have one thing to say to you. Please stop giving me those fleeting looks when you have a chance to see me. 

A devastated lover boy 

PS: All feelings expressed in this are not fictional. You are free to take your guesses on who/what though. Thanks to Anand Arasu for the inspiration.  
Image Courtesy: Google Image Search 
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